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newscientist_feed) wrote2025-06-23 01:00 pm
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 03:00 pmRead BC = Bad Choices
I work in a history museum and am giving a tour to a group about ancient Egypt. I'm explaining the timelines of certain pharaohs when one of the group members says to us all:
Guest: "Weren't those people clever to know how many years BC they were!"
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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 02:30 pmRead Dad Did A Job On You
I love my dad, but he thinks that holding the same job for over twenty years and then retiring has made him an expert on the modern job market. Some of the tips he's given me on how to find a job in 2025:
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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 01:30 pmRead Their Argument Is Collapsing
Roommate: "Did you throw out that chair?!"
Me: "Yes...?"
Roommate: "Why?!"
Me: "It was broken."
Roommate: "No, it wasn't!"
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 01:00 pmRead Some Customers Literally Want The Moon, Part 2
It is April 8, 2024, and it's solar eclipse day in the USA. Our convenience store has a sign up saying we're closing during the eclipse so that we can all go outside and enjoy seeing it.
Customer: *Reading the sign.* "You guys, too? Everyone is making too much of a fuss over this eclipse thing."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 12:45 pm(My family has to rake the front and backyard of our home, and living in a small rural town of less than five hundred, it’s a lot. Taking almost the whole weekend with four people working on it. My sisters and I used to love watching these online videos called ‘Vines’, and would sometimes quote […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 12:15 pm(My favorite actor’s father was a famous painter and I have just seen his works for the first time. I am texting a friend about this) Me: Apparently his human figures were usually either his sons canoeing or female nudes. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Friend: Well at least they’re not nudes […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 12:00 pmRead Toe-tally Destroyed
A young man calls for an appointment "as soon as possible" for a foot x-ray. The day comes, and he gives some general information to the doctor. He says he suffered a domestic accident and wanted to be sure. The doctor asks him to remove his shoe and socks. When he does, even I can tell something's very wrong with his pinky toe, because it's bruised and as purple as a plum.
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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 11:45 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 11:30 amI’ve been job hunting for a while, posting my resume on the internet. One day, I missed a call, with a voice mail stating that they got my resume/application and would like to have an interview. Note that the phone number has a Florida area code, not that that means much these days. When I […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 11:00 amnotalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 11:00 amRead This Conversation Is Not Tracking
Customer: "It says that it's on the way, but it's not here. I don't understand what that means. It's not clear."
It takes me a second to try and think of an answer that isn't insulting to her intelligence before giving up and explaining:
Me: "It says it's on the way because the package hasn't been delivered yet, and that when it's been delivered, it'll change to delivered."
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 10:30 amI’m leaving my gym in late evening/night. It’s a hot summer so I didn’t bother to put on anything over my gym clothes – I’m in a black sports-bra and sweatpants; perfectly normal outfit of the type in which you see women jogging on the street every day. I should mention the gym is right […]
icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-06-23 09:00 amYes, feline fam, we're gathered here today to mourn the passing of yet another weekend. Meownday has reared its ugly head around the door and we have no choice but to answer it. However, we know that the weekend is a state of mind as much as it is physical days. We can choose to be happy, like we're still peacefully lounging through Sunday like a cat napping in a sweet sunbeam. If you can find those little pockets of joy, then you've just unlocked one of the many secrets of life.
We have another secret to tell you - cats are the answer to many of life's secrets. Sad? Pet a cat. Having trouble deciding what to eat? Ask the cat! Need a good giggle? Have some hissterical cat memes! Another nugget of wisdom is that sometimes you have to create your own happiness, and one of the ways we do that, without any doubt, is by scrolling through posts of purrfectly silly kitties! So have a great week, and let these cats help you keep your weekend spirit alive one meme at a time!
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icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-06-23 07:00 amWe want to make one thing clear before we start here. We love all cats. All of them - big and small, wild and domesticated. We love fluffy lynxes and their huge mitten paws. We love the perpetually annoyed and confused jaguarundis. And we love - goodness - do we love housecats. For our little fluffy children, we would do anything. With all that said… we do have a special spot in our hearts, just an itty bitty corner, for a particular kind of cat who simply steals our hearts all over again every time we see it.
Pallas' cats. We don't know what it is about them. Maybe it's how fluffy they are, maybe it's how large they are, maybe it's the fact that Pallas' cats place their paws on their tails when they're cold, or maybe the fact that they are literally always grumpy. Whatever it is, we love them a whole lot. And this Pallas' cat momma just had six of them - six smol kittens who are even clumsier, grumpier and derpier than her, and we're beyond in love.
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icanhascheezburger_feed) wrote2025-06-23 06:00 amUnfortunately, this is not the first time that we have seen cats cause… tension between roommates. It happens more often that you think. And not because the cats do something wrong, but because roommates can be insanely insensitive to pretty much everything around them. We have written articles about people locking their roommate's cats in their rooms and not letting them out. We've written about people allowing their roommate's cats to escape, when that could have been entirely avoidable. We've even written about someone demanding that their roommate clean up after their cats, even though it was entirely unreasonable.
And as usual, none of the mess in today's story is the cats' fault. Because it never is. And still, what makes this one special in our opinion are the layers. There are so many levels to the madness going on in this house, the cats don't even begin to cover it. The cats were just another thing that happened. The problem was there much earlier.
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notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 10:00 amThis story happened around 10 years ago when I was about 11-12 years old. Once a week my school would take us to the local leasure centre for swimming lessons. We were split up into three groups depending on our swimming ability since our swimming ability varied from some not being able to swim at […]
notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-06-23 09:30 am(I’m at the pharmacy to pick up my prescription for the anti-conception pill. I have been taking this for 7 years now and I am 27 years old. It will become relevant why I have to mention my age.) Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my prescription.” Assistant: “Name and date of birth, please.” […]
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